This year Ive decided to celebrate Mine and Mo's birthday like we used to, big and fabulous. I know it wont be the same, But It's something I thought I'd do to honor her memory. I must admit this Month has made me quite emotional, and at times angry. This afternoon I found myself sitting on my bed wishing I had never been born a twin, because maybe then I wouldn't feel like there was this huge gaping hole in my heart. That's a horrible thought to have, I know. Ive had the worst headache all day because I spent hours last night trying on my birthday outfit to realize that pretty picture in my mind did not reflect in the mirror, and suddenly I no longer have a fancy birthday outfit, and I thought "god damnit Monique, you are supposed to be sitting on the bed helping me!" I will get through all this stress and emotions, and I will have a happy birthday.
atleast that's what I keep telling myself.
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