I'm not ready to forgive you.

I don't know if I'll ever fully understand why the ones we love, sometimes hurt us beyond imagination. I don't know when I'll ever be able to fully hold my head up high, because of hateful words spoken from the mouth of someone who has the same blood as I running through his veins. I even changed my phone number, as defeated as he has made me, I still hold on to the hope that one day he could be the Brother I wish to have.

Today at the mall my aunt was talking to a sales girl at Macy's about her tattoo's, when I asked her were she got them, she walked up to me grabbed my arm and told me she was in the same recovery program as my sister, She had known what happened, and said sorry, she looked so sad, When I left she hugged me, and she was crying. The way she looked at me broke my heart, I knew she saw her in me, and even though we didn't really talk about anything, I know what that look meant, just one glance and I was able to tell that Monique affected her life, in those 28 days they spent trying to find themselves.

god, I miss her.