Lavender Chamomile Sleep.

ups and downs. story of my life.

October seems to have a gold lining for me, Brand New, Manchester Orchestra, Dead Mans Bones and a Halloween Extravaganza, I would give anything in the world to have Mo here with me, to experience all this good, But since she is not, I will make sure to take it all in and enjoy every moment for her.

after showering I found this bottle of lotion that has been tucked away for the past 6 months, When I was being a good sister I would lotion Mo's feet after I showered her, she really liked having lotion put on her feet, she was to weak to do so and it brought her comfort, but sometimes I wouldn't, not because I didn't want to, but because I hoped that she could do it herself, I wanted her to be strong again and In my mind depraving her of something she liked might help her. it didn't. After almost 6 months I decided to put on this lotion, and the scent just brought back a wave of all this emotion and memories, I remember once she was laying in bed and she asked me to put on the lotion and lay next to her, I did. and she feel asleep promising me she would get better.

and now I'm sitting her, wondering if I should take another shower, to remove this sent.

I have some problems that I don't even like to share with myself, I hope one day, this weight on my shoulders gets lifted. My body is starting to ache as if I'm carrying the world.