Outside the glass.

Today has been my third day of working out, I am in the process of applying for a job, Ive been trying to focus on the brighter sides to my life, and I know I get easily caught up in the bad, but as of right now, I'm keeping my head above water.

I do have a friendship falling apart, but I don't feel like catching the pieces, and I need to find the courage to tell Nathan that he just has not been the friend I have needed, he filled my life with so many empty promises, and I resent him for it, I know he will find a way to put everything back on me, which is why I have not been able to talk to him, I don't really know what the future holds for our friendship, he has already lost some of my trust, and I know no matter what, our friendship will never be the same, but I guess that's just a part of life.

as my mom and I were walking to the car after dinner tonight, we saw a big semi truck and she said they always remind her of my dad.

and I thought

I feel really lucky to be the only person to ever accompany my father on his first long haul truck drive, I will always remember that day.

I will always remember the last time I sat with my grandma, and how she held my face, told me she loved me, and called me her angel.

I will never forget the day Monique was being evaluated in the hospital, when they finally just wrote her off as depressed. The doctor asked her if she has a reason to live, and she looked up at me, and pointed, She looked at the doctor and simply stated "she is my reason to live" .

Those are moments in my life that keep me alive.