don't you know I love you..

Ive lost count of how many times Ive woken up from a dream thinking Monique was still alive, they play cruel tricks on my mind, playing out her death as if it's just some life lesson, I woke up this morning just wanting to hug her, to put my arms around her and not let go, but by the time I opened my eyes and put on my glasses, I knew that was something that wouldn't be happening anytime soon. Sometimes I find it impossible to keep going, I just want to give my sister a fucking HUG, not visit a cemetery. This month is breaking my heart some more, I can feel the weight of time and it's taking me down.