Everything is a new experience

I just had my first argument with my mom since Monique died.

It's insane to think of how almost everything I do in life is all a first now, seeing as we shared a life together for almost 23 years. And now Its just me....

Usually every argument ended with me running to Mo, we always had each others side, Even if we knew one of us was in the wrong we still had each others back, and stood up for one another. and Now I'm sitting in my room staring at her face on my arm. Wishing she was the one on the computer and I was laying in my bed telling her how unfair mom was being.

Now not only to I have shitty moments and arguments, But I also have a huge empty and lost feeling knowing I don't have her to run too anymore.

I can honestly say I was in such a shitty mood this morning that I didn't even care about getting tattooed, I just wanted to hide in my bed all day. Alicia picked me up to go to the shop and I could tell she was in the same mood. We got to the shop and a few minutes in to our arrival I saw the drawing Josh drew up of Monique, and oh fuck if I didn't almost burst into tears. It is and will always be My greatest and Most Beautiful tattoo, Just looking at the drawing cheered up Alicia and I. Josh Palmer is not only a great friend but an amazing tattoo artist.


I feel the need to write so much more, my head is overflowing with thoughts and sentences, But its all been said before so Why say it again?

I MISS MY SISTER, AND STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY SHE HAD TO GO.

ok I said it.