to you.

To the friends that have been here through Losing Monique, I thank you. and all though it may not seem like it, I love you, with all that I am, even though that may not seem to be much lately.

I don't expect you to stick around to see the person this is turning me into, I don't even like who It has turned me into. Nathan told me that I was the leader of the pack and the backbone to many of my friends and that meant so much to me. But I'm not much of a leader and I can no longer be anyone's backbone, I don't even know how I'm standing. I'm not the strong feisty woman I was, I'm a weak little girl, who has to give it my all just to get ready and go have a drink.

I don't have a job, and I sleep all day, I'm 23 years old and have lost my fight to want to become something amazing .

I understand that I'm not the only twin out there to lose there twin, but god damn it feels like it sometimes, I miss my sister and I'm falling apart without her.

I'm sorry I can't be a better friend, I'm sorry I don't call you or text you, or try and spend time with you, But I just don't think I'm the best company anymore.