So after my last post, I crawled in bed and crashed for 4 hours,when woke up I was so disorientated I didn't know what day it was, what time it was and what exactly was real anymore.
I finally had a dream about Monique that felt real, Were I felt our love and It was so intense. In my dream she came to visit me, I was in shock, she looked so beautiful, we took a walk outside and the sky was blue and the breeze was nice, I asked her if heaven was real and she pointed to the sky and said yes, its right past there and its beautiful and that dad is there and grandma was there, and I pleaded if its real can I go with you? please take me with you, I just want to be with you, we were back in our room and she was going through our closet I gave her my new cardigan sweater and she promised to take care of it, I asked again please take me with you and she put her arms around me and said she loved me and she will see me sometime soon.
and then I woke up, and the pain Ive felt from not seeing her was less, well because I believe I did see her,But the pain will come back as the days go on.
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