buried by the fear of these thoughts

Ive been unbearably depressed the past few day, it's nothing new.

But after a visit to a few old folders of photo's I find myself unbelievably angry, after punching my mattress and crying into my pillow, I decided it would be better to write exactly what I want to do, other than do it.

I want to smash every piece of glass I can find, I want to find every doctor that ever took care of my sister and slit there throats, I want to find the bastard that stuck the tube down her throat and hold his head under water, I want to slap everyone in the face that has ever told me time will make this all better.

I don't want to feel all this pain anymore, I don't want to feel so alone anymore. I'm so angry it hurts, I'm so sad, it hurts. I'm so fucking lost, it hurts.