a little sleep and peace of silence.

I'm leaving for Salinas again in a few hours, this trip will be spent at my Nina's house, and my mom will be with me this time.She really needs to get away, she has barley begin to mourn the loss of her daughter, she keep's herself buried in work and everyone Else's problems.

I need some time with myself, I find these little get away's useful, because I feel so lost and disconnected from the world, and even more with myself.I have completely lost touch with ME, I feel like the ghost of a total stranger sometimes and that's terrifying. I want to look in the mirror and know who is looking back at me. I know this wont happen over night, or in 6 days, fuck maybe not even 6 years, but maybe one day.


I will always be missing so much of myself without the living breathing physical presence of Monique, nothing will change that, I just hope one day, I will feel like I really know the person that's left of me now.


Its been 4 months since you left me.