Last night Nathan drove us SF to meet up with Josh and check out a band called graveyard , it was nice, other than losing 10 bucks and being called Monique, I know The guy didn't mean too, But when he said her name its like the world stopped, I thought maybe just for me, But I looked over at Alicia and could see it stopped for her too, I thought I would be ok, I was 4 pills and 3 beers deep, But before I knew it My eyes were filled with tears and I was gasping for air.
I know I need to do something with my life, get a job, make something of myself, I don't care enough about myself to do it for me, But I need to do it for the people I love.
These past months I find myself falling into a unhealthy relationship with pills and booze, I only used to drink to party, and the same with the pills, now I can't be around a crowd unless I have some form of anxiety pill in my system, usually followed by anything else I can get my hands on. I'm not proud of it, and I have alot of respect for people who don't need any of those vices to get through there life, The only scary part is, I see the problem, I know I should cut back, But I don't want to, and I find myself anxious when I know the little box on my dresser is empty.
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