This photo was taken by Monique at a park in Monterey, about 5 years ago, It was a few months after our father died. The two of us sat at bench and talked, for hours. We sat there and remembered him, talked about all our regrets, fears, loves, sadness. She brought me so much comfort, so much love. I remember how much I enjoyed just sitting next to her, watching her taking photo's.
I have been surrounded by family for 5 days, I see my friends very often. I'm am very lucky for that, But the other night as I was laying in bed, I realized that it doesn't matter who, how many or how much love I have for the people I am constantly surrounded by. I still feel very lonely. The day before I came home I was at the warf with my mom, and we had a nice day, I sat at a table looking out at the ocean and hoped Monique could see it, wished she could feel the wind on her face, My mom and I were on our way back to the car and I sighed, wishing Monique was standing next to me, I was avoiding a certain area because of some guy preaching on the top of his lungs and yelling at people, then suddenly I heard some guy playing the guitar, and it caught my attention instantly. I stopped and realized he was singing a Manchester Orchestra song from there new album, and My eyes filled with tears and I got the chills, That was one of Mo's favorite bands, and I am always wondering if she would like there new album. I think I got my answer.
One of her favorite place, one of her favorite bands, Maybe she was standing next to me, I just didn't know it.
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