"amber I'm gonna do it, im gonna move outa town"

I received that Via text message from Alicia about 2 hours ago, and the tears have finally stopped, The anger is all that's left.

I understand life is full of changes, and I'm no reason to stay in any particular town, But I think something like a big move is worth at least a phone call, we are best friends, and you TEXT me that. It really hurts my feelings, I finally got the nerve to call, I just yelled, how selfish it was to think texting me that was ok, Its not. I expect more out of my friendships. I am going through alot in life and I know I'm not the only who lost, But Monique was my Twin sister, sorry if I expect you to be around while I go through this heartbreak.

Sorry I expect you to call me, to come visit me, Sorry I expect all of that out of you, sorry I don't call and sorry sometimes I'm so depressed and in such a fragile state I forget that you love me.

Alicia has hurt my feelings a few times this month, and I don't think friendships should hurt as much as this one has, It has been tearing me apart to see a 10+ year friendship fall to pieces, But I cant fight to keep her around anymore, Thats not fair for me.

I guess without Monique we are just a car without an engine, Its just not going anywhere and I'm not gonna be the one pushing a car all by myself.

I tried and tried, But I can't anymore.

so seeing as she always texts me the shit that needs to be said, I did the same, so she knows how unfair it feels.

I said that its obvious our friendship is not gonna make it, I wish you the best and I love you.

Because I do, I love her like family, But I cant be the one keeping it together.

It's up to her, and sadly, I know she wont fight to keep me in her life, soon I will be just someone she used to know.