oh mother...

I don't know if it's me, or her.But she hasn't brought me the comfort she usually does, she has been cold, and mean.I know I don't have a job, and I can't afford my own soy milk and special k, and that never used to be a problem, but now it is. I woke up from 14 hours of sleep today, feeling shitty, that amount of sleep never really amounts to anything good, I ate my breakfast and started cleaning, I came across Monique's photo dvd and decided to play it, and cried, after I turned on rilo kiley and cleaned the rest of the house, crying. I knew my my mom would probably call me on her lunch break and hopefully make me feel better, well she called, and proceeded to just ask about my brother, im sorry, but I'm Amber not Mario. Then she tells me she wont be home till very late, and she could tell in voice I wasent very happy about that, all she had to say was " well, you have had company the past few days" I dont even know what that was supposed to mean, should that make me feel less alone today?



I heard Monique's voice in a dream I had last night, I don't have the energy to write about the whole dream, but in part of it she had called my cell phone after I had taken a long drive somewhere and all she said was "Amber, I miss you."

I miss you too, Monique.