I had another one of those weird dreams about Monique, It was rainy and we were with a bunch of people and there was all these people partying in the street and we were trying to find our way back to the car, She was running ahead of me and I lost her and I started to panic, then I found her sitting in a chair in the rain and she looked blue, so I ran to her and dropped to my knees and shook her, she was breathing unsteady and I started screaming for help, but I didn't wanna leave her, so I just held her hands and sat with her, I woke up after and sighed thinking "It was just a dream" then I also had to remind myself that, that may have just been a dream.
But In reality she is still gone, still dead, still buried 6 ft underground.
Last night I was looking through Pictures and my heart started to ache and I got angry, Because I will never not hurt, I will never not miss her, I will never feel whole again.
My heart may still be beating, But that doesn't mean I feel alive.
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