yeah you're okay with me.

I don't feel like much of anything since I lost Monique, But my friends have stuck by me, and made me feel like I am something, And sometimes I wonder why, because I don't even like me, I hate being Amber, I want to be Amber and Monique again, But I guess I have to go through the rest of this life as just....Amber

I'm mean now, I'm angry and bitter and depressed, I kick girls in the shin. Today someone I didn't meet till after Monique's passing told me that he thinks he really likes me, Ive never been told that before, I'm not the girl that gets all the guys so this is new for me, But I want to try, Ive been pushing people away my entire life, and Monique always thought that was a bad quality in me, so maybe I should try and change it. For some reason this guy finds interest in this new me, Too bad he couldn't have met me before. I liked that Amber a lot better.


I'm really scared at trying to get to know someone at this point in my life.

and I really want to talk to Monique.... you know a real face to face conversation, and not none of this talking to the air bullshit.