I'm at my best when I'm at my worst

I hurt someone's feelings, with my honesty. I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings. But being honest is something I pride myself in. Lately times have been tough, it's undeniable, I have been trying to make the best of some situations. I know when I'm at a gathering Monique is always missing, I know that some songs are sad because she is not here to sing them to us, But I don't need to be constantly reminded, I wake up everyday knowing exactly that, and I am not perfect, I have brought some moods down, But I've been trying to better some things, trying to enjoy what I have, I always know what I don't have. I asked a friend to be my emotional support and I don't think she liked what I was asking, when I said this is a big step for me, I was made to feel like she was feeling exactly what I am, and that's not the case. Ive told many of people that our pain is each our own, and it is, But I was reminded today that know matter what, my pain is more, now should I feel bad for that? no.....

why feel upset becasue I have more pain, I would never wish that pain on anyone, I wish I could make that understandable, I was trying to ask in the nicest way to be strong for me, so I could be strong, and I was called a hypocrite and asked to not take out my frustrations on someone, when I was just being honest, honesty hurts sometimes, I have been hurt by it before.I feel like Ive been stabbed in the back, I have been made out as the bad guy. I was really hurt when I found out not only was my mom brought into this, so was my aunt, these two woman are my family, and I need them to help me through, I feel selfish for acting this way, but I never thought I would be made to feel like this.

I spent an entire day in bed sobbing, feeling like I failed in some way, I finally talked to my mom, and told her I get jealous, that she tells my friend she loves her more than me, that I really needed her and she was not there for me, and that hurt her to hear, but we talked through it, I listened to her and she listened to me, and that is how you get through the hurt and misunderstandings, that is how I would have liked things to work out last night, but instead of sending a phone call my way, it was sent to my mom.

and I don't know what to do now, because I feel this lack of trust.