I Spent today with my Nana, I love her, she is my family. We lack a close relationship though, But I tried my best to have a conversation with her. She has a fading memory, so I know she meant no harm when she spent the day calling me Monique. I would let a few slide, only correcting her to remind her I'm Amber.
I will never have with my Nana what I had with my Grandma, I could see the love that woman held for me when she looked me in the eyes, and although I hardly even make eye contact with my Nana, I know she loves me too.
Tonight I could feel this sense of bitterness settle in me, I think being called Monique all day today is bothering me more than I'm willing to admit to myself. I feel like im going on autopilot.
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