6 months, half of a year, I haven't even been able to say this out loud yet. I don't know how Ive made it this far, and I don't know were all these months have gone, But I find it terrifying to know, that I have lived 6 months without the presence of My sister, to know that the person who was created with me, the person I spent 6 months in my mothers womb with, the person who I then grew to know and love for 22 years, is now gone, and I still fight the fear that, that was it for me, that I will never be able to wrap my arms around her, and tell her just how much I love her, I hold on to my last moments with her, holding her hand, she was dying and we didn't know it, yet. and at her weakest with barley any strength to breathe, her last words to me was "are you ok?", well Monique, I'm not. I am not ok without you.
I will try my best to go on, but I feel like I'm still sinking, I know I will never truly come back from this.
I also found out tonight that my 5 year old cousin Melina has swine flu, I know that it's contagious, but when I saw her, and that tired sick look in her eyes, I could not help but to hold her, and pray to god that her body can fight such a deadly disease. Please, god.
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