I was looking for a job, and then I found a job....

But heaven knows I'm not miserable yet...

Getting a job is the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time.

19months

The 28th is a date the will forever will be burned in my mind, I have been counting down the months from the beginning, and for the time being I will continue my countdown till were ever it leads.

But today was by far the most positive day Ive ever had since my countdown begun, I had a job interview, and I held my head up high and told the lady that time has stood still for the past year and half, But I'm ready for that to change, and I'm ready to work.

I know she was there, giving me strength.

finding comfort in depression.

Depression is really one emotion I know very well, so when I get stuck in a rather deep cycle of one, I can't help but find a little comfort from it. It's always been there, It wont go away. Sometimes I can hide from it for a little while, but sooner or later it finds me. Ive been trying to fool myself that it's just summer induced, and that maybe the fall will bring with it better days, but I guess only time will tell.

for now, I will continue over sleeping, and getting lost in my memories.

A plausible finish.

I started writing in this blog April 9 2009, since then it has been a place I pour my heartache, loss and emptiness onto, as of now it holds a year 3 months and 3 days worth of writing. It has shown some signs of hope, but it always ends in defeat. I have a broken heart that will always show it's cracks. Ive tried my best to keep my head above water, keep my friendships from falling off and gain some kind of consistency in life, and still currently am. I'm losing hope with just about everything again, and these blank pages just don't satisfy me anymore.

I just want to be able to exist in the world, and not just the 4 walls of my bedroom.

I'm so lost without you.